a gay kingdom

finally! a homeland for gay people!

i can't wait to migrate to "The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands", sing its national anthem, Gloria Gaynor's "I am what I am", and worship its emperor, Dale R!

now, if i can only find my passport... and an embassy of the Gay & Lesbian Kingdom to explain how i might apply for a visa...

paper napkin

the internet is the greatest.

i was bored stiff this evening and decided a couple of hours chatting on gay.com could be quite fun. so there i was, logged on to the Kuala Lumpur chat room, chatting with a few guys whose profiles i thought were "interesting" as well as with those who had "hit" on me thinking i was "interesting". so... yakkity-yak-yakkity-yak... until i inevitably find that some of them are pricks (not in the good sense) and that i'd be better off being bored than chatting. but before i can say goodbye and click them away, one or two would inevitably ask for my contact. so what do i do? what do i do?

being the nice guy that i am... ahem! ahem! ... i can't just tell them i didn't like their pic, or their english, or their being three times overweight. that would be rude! better to give them false numbers or email addresses or not answer them at all! until now that is!

today, i discovered this. in future, if i don't like someone and i'm "forced" to give them a contact, instead of giving them a non-functioning email address, i give them one that works but that will tell them almost exactly what i think of them (this is the message they get in response to "emailing" me).

isn't the internet grand? there's even someone to do my dirty work for me!

the gay scene is tough.

you have to be good looking. preferably muscled or tone. not just nice.

you have to be butch. no sissies or fems. you must be "straight"-acting.

you have to be gym-fit. or at least go to the gym. otherwise you are not toned and therefore not desirable.

you must be big. or at least average. otherwise, can't get a good grip on it. and nobody wants to be tickled.

you must be a top. or at least versatile. nobody is a bottom these days. bottom=fem=undesirable=outcast.

you must be under 30 or over 55. if you're under 30, you're a spring chicken=good. if you're over 55, you're a sugar daddy=good. if you're anywhere in between, you're just old=bad.

you must have place. no place, how to do?

haloscan! haloscan!

i've added haloscan commenting and trackback to this blog. in the process, i've lost a few of the comments that were posted on this new blog yesterday and today by some very nice readers - my apologies. but you know i am a ditz. on the bright side of things, with haloscan, commenting becomes a lot easier. you need fewer clicks. and no more completely anonymous comments. yay!

gay man gone straight

As I was walking along Bintang Walk yesterday evening, I bumped into an ex...erm... yes, I think you would call him an ex-boyfriend of mine. We were "going out" in my final year at university, i.e. we were either shagging madly like dogs, satisfying our testosterone-induced urges, on a daily basis. Lurid and sensational as that was, that's not what I want to tell you today.

We went our separate ways after university. I saw him the odd time or two in the first year and then he disappeared from my radar after that. Until yesterday.

So there we were hugging and grinning insanely at each other like inmates at a psychiatric ward, when I proposed coffee at Dome to "catch up". In truth, I was horny as hell and I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to put my moves on him - after all, as I recall, he was quite good in bed. And in the bathroom, the car, the kitchen, the bushes at the far end of the park...

We started yakking, yakking, yakking when suddenly he burst out: "I've got a girlfriend!"

I was flabbergasted. I stared at him for a good minute and then batted my eyelids before going, "what?!!"

him: I've gone straight.
me: you're joking!???!!!!
him: no, really. I'm going out with this girl now.
me: gay men don't go straight...!
him: well... I'm not sure if I really was gay...

(proceeds to tell me his life's story)

me: so, you mean to tell me you're not turn on by men anymore?
him: hmm.... no. not really.
me: and that year we were fucking like crazy... you didn't like it?
him: err... I enjoyed it. It was good.
me: it was only "good"?!!
him: come on... of course I had fun. I was actively participating in it remember?!
me: (not convinced) but you wouldn't do it again?
him: err... probably not.
me: (starting to feel infuriated) so, you didn't find me attractive at all then? you had such a bad time with me you just had to turn straight?!?
him: That's not true! I thought you were sexy. That's why we were together for a whole year.
me: (still fishing) but I was such a turn off towards the end, you had to defect to the other camp?
him: What are you trying to get at? Look, you're really sexy. In fact, I still think you look very good and I'd probably still have sex with you. It's just that I think I'm straight now.
me: (seizing the opportunity) you'd probably still have sex with me...?!!!

I'll leave the rest of the conversation out of this. But I was shocked. Completely surprised. Yes, "straight" men discover the joys of male sex and turn gay all the time. In fact, almost every day. I should know... But gay men don't turn straight? That never happens...?!? What's the world coming to? What does this say about homosexuality? More importantly, what does this say about me?!?

i've moved!

the bum bung's "tearoom" has had to be moved due to cost issues... alas, yes, even us gay men have money problems although our shopping patterns seem to suggest otherwise.

my previous very generous host has decided to shut down www.thebumbung.com and i've been put out into the streets! fortunately, blogger is still free. unfortunately, i can't seem to import any of my previous posts into blogger. not happy. but there you go.
a chance to start all over again.
a whole new life.
a brand new existence.
a new me.

a new tearoom.